“Hey Gabs! Nice pic in the Zeitung!” Freddy called out as I entered the classroom for registration.

“At least she has a job!” Steff mentioned just loud enough for everyone to hear.

That caused a few titters, particularly amongst the girls. I though turned what I'm informed is a fetching shade of pink.

“I thought I'd got out of that when no one came to the bakery yesterday.” I sighed sliding in next to Steff.

“Its only the Strech's.”

“Yeah.” I sighed.

“So like are you coming to the Easter dance Bernie?” Martin enquired.

“Erm, I'm not sure.”

“Course she is!” Anna proclaimed.

First I've even heard there is an Easter dance.

“Dance?” I asked Con.

“Well don't sound so surprised, of course there's an Easter Tanzfest.”

“Oh, and like I have to go?”

“Well have to is a bit strong.” Brid noted.

“But you can hardly miss it.” Pia finished.

“Er I might be racing, it's a busy time.”

“On Wednesday night? You're not slipping out of it that easily.” Nena pronounced.

Oh joy.

I wasn't exactly keen to get home, family meetings invariably mean there's something afoot that I may or may not like. It was about this time last year that moving to Germany was sprung on us, has Mum got another contract somewhere else? Nah, she would've mentioned that, something else then.

“Penny for ‘em?” Bern prompted as we made our final approach to Burg Bond.

“Just wondering what the olds want to talk about, last time it was moving out here.

“Right.”

“I can't think what it could be.”

‘I can.' Bern thought to herself.

“I guess it's important, whatever it is.”

“Yeah.” I replied absently.

“So like Gregor says ‘but I thought it was Friday,'” Jules told us with a chortle.

“You can finish telling Bernie later.” Dad instructed.

“But…”

“But we have something more important to talk about.” Mum interjected.

“I'll make myself scarce for a bit then.” Bern offered.

“You don't have to, I'm betting you have a pretty good idea what this is about.” Dad offered.

“Er yeah, I guess.”

“I wish I did.” Jules huffed.

“Me too.” I agreed.

“Looks like I'm staying then.” Bern stated.

“You want to start Jen or should I?” Dad enquired.

“I'll do it I suppose, where to start?”

“So like you're saying trouble here has a set of the wrong plumbing?” Jules clarified ten minutes later.

“Not exactly, as you well know your brother hasn't got a vagina.”

Dad and me coloured up at Mum's frank language.

“But he's got ovaries?”

“So the doctors assure us.”

I wanted to crawl in a hole.

“I am here.” I pointed out.

“Sorry kiddo but we need to talk about this, it isn't going to go away.” Mum told me.

“We wanted to make sure that you knew what was happening Jules, if this was to go beyond us here it could cause all sorts of unnecessary complications.” Dad mentioned.

“Well all my friends think I've got a sister anyhow so I'm not gonna spread muck. But like are you gonna have a sex change and stuff?”

“Your brother can hardly have a sex change, he's already both.” Dad dropped in a little harshly.

“Dave!”

“Sorry Jen, Drew you all right?”

“I ‘spose so.”

“You know we're here for you kiddo, whatever you decide.” Mum told me.

“But I don't know what to do. Do I want to be a girl for real, not just pretending when it's convenient? I seem to have all the equipment to be either Drew or Gaby. I mean its cool to be Gaby sometimes but I like being Drew too.”

“You don't have to decide here and now.” Dad pointed out.

“I know but I guess even if I don't do anything there are consequences.”

“Unfortunately Drew, even doing nothing is a decision.” Mum agreed.

And that for me is the problem. I can have all my girl bits removed and be me, that is Drew. Or I can have my boy stuff taken away, get some plumbing done and be 100% Gaby, I'm not sure I want that, its not like I want to be a girl, well not very often. Or I can do nothing, sit on the fence so to speak and maintain the status quo.

There is of course something else to consider and that's my cycling career. So okay its only sport but its sport I do and I'm pretty good at it. Each choice has implications, BC are backing me as a future male champion, I don't suppose Apollinaris are too fussed either way but if I become Gaby like 100% what happens then?

“You okay kiddo?” Mum enquired.

“Uh huh.”

“Anyone for rhubarb crumble?” Dad asked.

Hey, even if I've stuff on my mind rhubarb crumble cannot be ignored.

“Is the Pope Catholic?”

“Not lost your appetite then Gabs?” Jules chimed in.

I just stuck my tongue out at her.

“Bern?”

“Just a little please.”

There's something about homemade crumble, I think it's that syrupy bit you get around the edges, that just sends me into raptures! And rhubarb, how can such a weird ‘fruit' taste so, I dunno, mmmm? Add in thick Bird's custard and I'm anyone's.

“You wanna finish that project off?” Bern asked after the pudding plates were cleared.

“Project?”

“You know, the special project.” She hinted at Dad with her eyes.

“Oh right, yeah, good idea.”

“Don't be up half the night you two.” Dad intoned.

“No Dad.”

We made our escape; Bern had to stop for a rest on my stairs.

“That was pretty heavy.” Bern stated as she collapsed onto my computer chair.

“I guess. You okay? You looked a bit off just now.”

“Fine, just a bit out of breath. So what're you gonna do?”

“I really don't know. I'm not sure I want to be Gaby like full time.”

“I hate to disillusion you Drew but to most people you already are.”

“Huh?”

“Pretty much everyone at school thinks you're a girl, your friends all treat you like one, the locals even voted you like carnival queen.”

“Yeah,” I sighed, “but it's not the same as being a girl is it?”

“Comes damn close if you ask me.”

“Hmm.”

“So we gonna finish Stonehenge then?”

“I thought that's what we came up for?”

“Boys!”

It was knocking on eleven when Bern declared herself satisfied with Dad's present. She really is good at like art type stuff, much better than me; she sort of has an eye for the details. I was dead chuffed, I know Bern did a lot but it was my idea and I did stick it all together. It wasn't quite finished, I've got some model people to put on and I want to get some more detailing stuff I've seen in the model shop too.

“You know this Easter dance?”

“Uh huh.” Connie replied as we coasted down the cycle track on Tuesday morning.

“Well its not fancy dress or anything is it?”

“Fancy dress?”

“You know, Masken Kostüm?”

“No nothing like that, posh dresses but it's not a Kostümball.”

“Phew.”

“I thought you liked wearing Kostüm?”

“Well the Cosplay stuff is different, you sort of become the character. Er, what do you mean posh?”

“Well its quite formal, mostly the girls wear party dresses.”

“Sounds a bit weird to me.”

“Come on you two, we'll be late!” Pia called back to us.

“Yeah, coming.” Con called back.

“You sure you're okay Bern?”

We'd stopped on the stairs up to Fr Dürst's classroom.

“Just a bit of cramp, think Junior's moving a bit.”

“You need to be careful.”

“I'm pregnant not sick.”

“I was only saying.”

“Yeah, come on or we really will be late.”

I kept an eye on her as we completed our journey and she took her place next to Martin. Was that a wince? Maybe I'm just a bit paranoid.

“Okay people, Gaby?” Fr Dürst started the register.

“Here.”

“Martin?”

“Present.”

Maddy Bell 13.02.09 © 2009

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